


Extraneous Characters

by imamaryanne



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Johnson the Metaphysical Goalie - Freeform, LAX bros - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 06:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12953106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imamaryanne/pseuds/imamaryanne
Summary: To get Dex and Nursey to stop arguing, Ollie and Wicks challenge them to a snowball fight. They all end up working together when four LAX Bros show up to The Haus.





	Extraneous Characters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [farfetched](https://archiveofourown.org/users/farfetched/gifts).



> Thanks (and happy birthday!) to @AmandaCritelliWestphal for the beta!! You rock!

  
“You know no one here is going to notice if we get rid of the bunk beds and get a big bed for us to share,” Ollie said, as he was lying on the top bunk, staring at the attic ceiling. 

“How the hell would they not notice the two of us sharing a bed?” Wicks asked, incredulously, from the bottom bunk. They were pretty well sick of bunk beds at this point in their relationship. 

“Remember when Johnson came to visit earlier this semester?” 

“Yeah. That dude is  _ strange. _ ” 

“Well, he came up to me out of nowhere and said that you and I are only side characters, and that if we’re together and want to share a bed, that no one would notice, because everyone else is too busy hoping Jack and Bitty stay together, that Kent Parson doesn’t antagonize them, and wondering if Dex and Nursey are going to get together. Dude, he called us extraneous characters.” 

“I told you he’s strange,” Wicks said. “What does that even mean, extraneous characters?” 

Ollie shrugged, “Don’t know. But he’s kind of right, isn’t he? It seems like everyone on the team seems to focus on Jack and Bitty most, followed by Dex and Nursey. Even Shitty, who’s been at Harvard for over a year now now, gets more attention than we do. We could probably fuck on the kitchen counter in front of everyone, and no one would notice unless Bitty needed the counter space for a pie.” 

Wicks looked thoughtful.“This conversation is making me uncomfortable.” He laughed a little. “I don’t like the idea of not being a protagonist in my own life.” 

“So should we get the bed?” Ollie asked hopefully, leaning over to grin at Wicks on the bottom bunk. 

Their conversation was cut short by an increasingly loud argument between Dex and Nursey one floor below. Ollie and Wicks sighed and looked at each other. What the hell had Lardo been thinking, having those two share a room? 

“Bro, just chill out,” they heard Nursey say. 

“I will not just chill out,  _ Bro. _ ” Ollie widened his eyes at the venom Dex managed to spit in the word ‘bro.’ “You broke my iPod!”

“It was an  _ accident, _ ” Nursey said, his voice full of patronizing patience. “I’ll buy you a new one.” 

“Buy me a new one? Bro, I don’t need your charity.” 

“It’s not charity if I’m the one who broke it,” Nursey pointed out. “Let me buy you a new one.” 

“Must be nice to be able to just buy a new iPod whenever you feel like it, rather than having to actually be careful with your shit.” 

Nursey sighed, “So you don’t want me to get you a new one?” 

“You broke it, of course you have to buy me a new one.” 

“Then what the hell, Dex?” 

Ollie and Wicks made eye contact and smiled a little. Dex and Nursey fighting was par for the course at this point in the year. Second semester just started and it was shocking that Dex hadn’t outright killed Nursey yet. 

“Should we jump in?” Wicks asked. 

“And do what?” 

“Dunno,” Ollie shrugged. He glanced outside, “Challenge them to a snowball fight?” 

Most of the last twenty four hours had been snowy in Samwell.  The ground was covered in at least ten inches, and the snow was wet enough for packing. 

“What?” Wicks laughed. 

“Me and you versus Dex and Nursey,” Ollie said, climbing down from the top bunk. “Come on, they need to work together.” 

“They  _ do _ work together,” Wicks reminded Ollie. “Remember? Hockey team?” 

“Yeah, but that’s high stakes.This’ll be for fun, not so competitive.” 

“I haven’t had a snowball fight since I was about twelve,” Wicks said. 

“So you’re out of practice?” 

Wicks smiled. He was starting to like the idea, and it was hard to say no to his boyfriend when he got excited about something. “Yeah, let’s see if they want to play.” 

“I have to study,” Dex said flatly when Ollie and Wicks knocked on their door and asked them for the snowball fight.  

“I probably should too,” Nursey said, sounding entirely unconvinced that studying was what he wanted to do at all. He looked longingly out the window. 

“Just for a little bit,” Wicks cajoled. “C’mon, we’ve been in The Haus since leaving Faber yesterday afternoon. The snow’s kept us in, let’s just get out and moving.” 

“C’mon Poindexter,” Nursey said, nudging his foot into Dex’s. “Just for a little bit.” 

Dex scowled at Nursey, but didn’t argue as he stood up and grabbed his boots. 

Bitty fussed over them as they got their coats and gloves on. “My goodness, going out in all this snow.” Bitty shook his head in disbelief, the way any guy raised in Georgia would have about ten inches of snow. 

“Wanna come?” Wicks offered. 

“Not even a little bit,” Bitty laughed, pulling his Samwell hoodie tighter around his body at the mere thought of going out in thirty degree weather. “But you boys have fun, and I’ll make hot chocolate when you get back in.” 

The four trooped out of the Haus and into the front yard. The snow had mostly stopped, only a few large flurries fell lazily from the sky. The snow on the ground was smooth. Chowder’s boot prints from earlier that morning when he left for Caitlin’s had long since been snowed over.  

“We call this half of the yard,” Dex said, pointing to the right. For someone who didn’t want to come out at all, he was already taking the game seriously. Nursey shrugged in agreement and followed Dex over to the right. 

“Great, me and Ollie over here,” Wicks said, pulling Ollie along to the left. 

They got to work, Wicks building up a fort wall, Ollie packing snowballs one after the other, and stacking them in neat rows behind Wicks’ fort. They glanced across the yard, and saw Dex and Nursey working silently doing the same, Nursey building the fort, Dex packing snowballs. 

“I think I’m about done,” Wicks said. “Building a snow fort was a lot easier as a kid when I had a body only half this size to protect.” 

Ollie laughed. “OK, let’s-” he started to say, but was interrupted by a snowball smacking him in the back of the head. 

“Hey,” he said, looking toward Dex and Nursey, “What the hell, guys?” 

“We didn’t do it,” Dex said, pointing across the street where four LAX bros were standing in front of their house, identical smirks on their douchebag faces. 

“If it isn’t the Chads,” Wicks said. 

“The fuck?” One of the LAX Bros said, looking confused. “Only one of us is Chad.” He pointed to the blond-haired guy on right. 

“Oh believe me, you’re all Chads,” Wicks said. Nursey, Dex, and Ollie laughed loudly. They had long since decided Chad was the biggest douchebag name, even Dex agreeing ‘ _ It’s so white and awful _ ,’ and they’ve referred to all LAX players as Chad since then. The fact that one of them actually was named Chad was like a gift.

The LAX guys still looked confused, so the actual Chad gave their names, “Chad,” he said pointing to himself, the going down the line, “Todd, Brock, Brad.” 

That just….that  _ had  _ to be a joke. Wicks, Ollie, Nursey and Dex all widened their eyes and stared at each other before turning back to the LAX bros. Not a joke, those were actually their names. They were all names that were on the list when the hockey players had been discussing douchebag names. 

“What’s so fucking funny?” Chad asked. “We’ll come over there and kick your snowball making asses!” 

Dex grabbed Nursey by the hand and dragged him over to Ollie and Wicks’ fort. “You take that one then,” he challenged the LAX guys, pointing to the fort he and Nursey had just been working on. 

The Chads hustled over to the fort and took stock of their ammunition. Nursey whispered, “I was lazy and didn’t pack the fort very well. It’s pretty weak.” 

“Your laziness is coming in handy,” Dex said, frowning slightly at Nursey for having had the gall to be lazy in the first place. 

They huddled behind the fort, “What’s the plan?” Dex asked, all business. Nursey grinned, he had known once Dex got out here, he’d get into it. 

“We need a plan?” Wicks said. “Aren’t we going to just lob snowballs at their stupid lacrosse playing faces?” 

Dex huffed, “Did you never have an actual snowball war with your brothers and sisters when you were younger?” 

“Only child,” Wicks said shrugging. 

“Me too,” Nursey said. 

“Two sisters, ten and twelve years older than me,” Ollie said. 

Dex sighed and shook his head, “We need to have three of us throwing, and one making new snowballs as fast as you can. We need ammo, but we also need to encourage them to throw more balls than we do, so they run out of ammo quicker. Only throw if you’re sure you’re going to make a hit. Believe me, those dum-dums are going to use up all their ammo in about two minutes.” 

“Aye aye, Captain,” Nursey said, saluting Dex. He immediately started packing snow together and lining them up. 

Dex gave a few more instructions on the best ways to pack snowballs, and the best way to throw a snowball over a fort wall without exposing too much of yourself to incoming snowballs. Before long, they were bombarded with four snowballs, all four of which missed them as each Chad had overthrown their mark by about ten feet. Four more, with better aim, came quickly after that. 

They huddled behind the fort even tighter, Nursey scrambling to make as many snowballs as possible. Dex demonstrated his skill in peeking over the fort wall, saw all four Chads kneeling, the fort barely concealing them and threw a well-aimed snowball that hit a Chad square in the chest hard enough he let out a small, “Oof.” 

“Nice,” Nursey said appreciatively. 

Ollie and Wicks, thinking as one, both popped up and lobbed a snowball each at the same Chad, the same one Dex had just hit, and they both hit their mark. They grinned and fistbumped each other. 

The Chads continued to hurl snowballs at a rate of five to every one the SMH players did. Sure enough, they had managed to collect far more ammunition than the Chads did. A small break in the onslaught of snowballs suggested that the Chads were busy creating more. Sure enough Wicks peeked out and saw that all four Chads were gathering snow. 

“They aren’t using even using the fort for cover,” he reported. “Let’s bombard them real quick.” 

“Excellent idea,” Dex said seriously. 

All four stood up, snowballs cradled in their arms, and threw as fast and as hard as they could at any exposed part of any of the Chads’ bodies. Heads were hit, shoulder, chests, arms, even one Chad’s ass. 

Ten seconds later, they’d dropped to the ground behind the fort as the Chads starting throwing more snowballs. All four were laughing. 

“I saw you hit that guy in the ass, babe,” Wicks said, poking Ollie in the side. “Nice one!”

“Bro,” Nursey said, “Did you just call him babe?” 

“I-” Wicks started, but again was interrupted by a snowball to the head. “Ow!”

The Chads had abandoned their fort altogether and were standing in front of it, hurling snowballs as hard and as fast as they could at Ollie, Wicks, Dex and Nursey. Most of them were aimed for heads and faces. 

Dex’s face, already pink from the cold, went redder. “Let’s get them,” he ordered in a low voice. 

Staying behind the fort for protection, it was easy to push the Chads back. Thanks to Nursey’s quick work, they had far more ammunition. Taking their time to aim, the hockey team pitched the snowballs as hard as they could at the Chads. 

Within minutes it became obvious that the Chads were out of ammo. As the four of them scrambled to each make a snowball and hurl it, the hockey players recognized their advantage and stepped out from behind the fort. With little mercy, and arms full of snowballs, they advanced on the Chads, hitting them wherever possible. Ollie taking great pleasure in aiming for their hands to keep them from making more snowballs. 

The Chads knew they were beat. And though they managed to make a few more snowballs and hit the hockey players (Wicks taking yet another one to the head), they did eventually back up and retreat back to their own house across the street. 

“All right!” Ollie said, giving fist bumps all around. All four were laughing in their victory, feeling almost as proud as they had in beating Brown the day before at Faber. 

“So,” Nursey said, eyeing Ollie and Wicks with a quirked eyebrow. “You want to talk about how you called Ollie ‘babe?’” 

Dex frowned at Nursey, “C’mon Derek, it’s none of our business.” 

“No, it’s OK.” Wicks assured him. “Listen, we were thinking of getting a big bed in the attic, so if you two want the bunks, they’re yours. It might free up some space in your bedroom.” 

“Sure,” Dex said. “I get the bottom.” 

“Yeah, no prob,” Nursey said nodding. He didn’t say anything else, but looked very much like he wanted deets on the whole Ollie and Wicks relationship. 

They made their way back into the house, Bitty fussing over their pink cheeks, their cold fingers, and dripping clothes. “You shoulda come out, Bits,” Ollie said. “We murdered those LAX bros.” 

“I saw,” Bitty said, approvingly. “Get dried off, and I’ve got hot cocoa for you.” 

They sat at the table as Bitty filled four mugs with cocoa, adding some fresh whipped cream to each drink, and sprinkling a bit of cinnamon on the top. He left out a bottle of bourbon for anyone who wanted to add a shot to their mug. Ollie and Wicks grinned at each other as they each added a shot and took a hot sip. They were pretty sure that across the street, the Chads weren’t enjoying hot cocoa. 

“So,” Wicks began. “Bits, Ollie and I are giving the bunk beds to Dex and Nursey and we’re getting one bed for us to share.” 

Bitty raised his eyebrows and smiled, “Sounds fantastic,” he said. “If you need anything at all, y’all can just let me know, right?” 

Bitty wasn’t just talking about help moving beds, but with  _ anything. _ Both Ollie and Wicks knew it. “Yeah, we know.” 


End file.
